An All-Time Low

It's no secret that Carter has been a challenge in the potty-training department. Today I did something that I make a point never to do...lie to my son. I told him we were out of Pull-Ups and that he would either have to poop in his undies or on the potty. I reminded him that when he poops on the potty he gets a brand new scooter (we are desperate, people!) AND threw in that we could also stop at the cheeseburger shop (aka McDonald's) on the way home from the store. I also sang the "If Carter Goes Poop on the Potty" song that I made up and now sing on a daily basis. When all of that didn't seem to convince him, I bribed him to sit on the potty by putting the laptop in the bathroom and letting him watch his favorite PBS show while he tooted away. I'm not kidding you, my butt fell asleep while I SAT ON THE FLOOR FOR 45 MINUTES encouraging him to go and giving him positive reinforcement.
Guess what happened?! Nothing. No poop, not even a rabbit turd. Are you kidding me?! We have tried stickers, candy, small toys from the $1 bin, large shiny red cars, making him take off the dirty pants & clean himself afterwards, the aforementioned scooter and trip to Mickey D's and this kid is not budging. I think I'm done. If he wants to be the only kid in Kindergarten to not poop in the potty, so be it. I'm sure the peer pressure will get him by the time he reaches high school.