Now What?

First of all, let me just apologize for how long this post is.  I want to be able to remember milestones as the boys get older...and especially to document the BIG things for them.

For the past month or so, we've been pursuing getting Carter tested for some sensory processing concerns that his Preschool teachers had.  Some examples of things they've seen:  Carter choosing to push friends instead of using his words to get what he wants (even though he has a good vocabulary), then having a disconnect between his actions and why friends are upset; Carter having difficulty sustaining eye contact with adults; getting really agitated by certain sounds & covering his ears (even if it's as simple as a vent/fan in a bathroom);  being so bothered by tags in shirts that he asks us to cut them out.

Any one of these things alone is not that unusual, and there are some more things that I just can't remember right now, but if you put them all together they could be indicative of a larger issue, so we decided to move forward with getting Carter tested to see what the experts think.  Incidentally, our pediatrician is not concerned.  He feels that a lot of people are jumping on the "Sensory Processing" bandwagon right now.  Dr B. encouraged us to go ahead with testing, but pointed out that a lot of successful adults have issues with loud noises or tags in clothing or not wanting to get their hands dirty and they are called "quirky".

As part of the process, his Preschool had the Social Worker and school Psychologist observe him in the classroom.  I had an opportunity to speak with the Social Worker this week and she had some interesting insight based on her observations of Carter.  After an hour of observing Carter, she noticed him:  loving story time, not really focusing on the teacher but being able to still follow her directions, looking "lost" when the noise volume increased in the classroom and being equally comfortably playing alone as he was playing with friends.

Then, she decided to get down "in his space" as she put it & try to engage him in one of the "centers" he was playing in.  Something prompted her to grab a MagnaDoodle and start writing words for Carter.  Of the 15-20 words she wrote, he could read all but one.  As she described it "Then I knew I was dealing with a completely different kid than I initially thought."  He had no trouble making eye contact with her as she talked to him about letters and words and he came right over to her & sat in her lap as she wrote words for him to read.  He even invited her to his birthday party next year & told her "You'll be the only girl there, but that's OK.  But, I just had my birthday this year, so you'll have to wait for my party NEXT year."

Ms. May feels that some of the "concerning" behaviors Carter displays in the classroom could be out of frustration or boredom because he already knows many of the concepts they are teaching.  (She did not witness any behaviors she would label "sensory processing" issues, but we may continue the testing for that, just in case.)  She thinks he may just be so focused on "bigger ideas" in his mind, that some of the social skills the rest of us take for granted just don't come naturally for Carter unless you really strike a chord with his interests.  She suggested further testing to see if Carter qualifies to enter Kindergarten next year, a year early.  Or, if he may do better to continue another year of Preschool but at a school that has a different curriculum so that he won't get bored.

At this point, I kind of started to freak out.  The only thing I know about "gifted" students is that I was never considered one growing up.  Whatever Carter's "above average" skills, I think he got many from Sean and some just are inherent in his personality.  However, rather than being thrilled to hear that the professionals think my kid is smart, I am now worried about making the right decisions for him academically and socially.  Of course, will have additional testing done before we decide how to move forward.  We found out that just early reading skills alone are not enough to consider a child to be gifted.  Whatever happens, we are already so proud of Carter and the person he is.  We think he is smart, but we also think he is funny and outgoing and creative...all are equally important in my book.

Here's our big boy in his first school photo:  (I can't believe how OLD he looks!)